If dealing with the feeling that setting boundaries may conflict with your kindness, then you’re going to find this an extra interesting read.
Self-care in its truest form is supposed to make you comfortable. Now, I’m not just talking about the feeling of comfort when you attempt sitting back and relaxing kind of comfy. While that is indeed a great way to practice some self-care, it is a different kind of comfort I’m talking about. Have you ever felt an awkward moment when you have tried to create a boundary you don’t want to be crossed? At the time of trying to express or communicate it many times, people feel a great sense of discomfort. As if creating boundaries drops your level of kindness to a minimum if any left at all. Well, here’s the thing… You know if you don’t set a boundary when you really should that all that will result in a continuous, possibly stronger, discomfort. Weigh it out. Think about this: if you know you’ll be complaining later to your best friend, and/or worse to yourself, then ask yourself, “Is that person or situation worth your angst?”
Setting boundaries may take a little homework at first. Each time the work is less until eventually, you have a system down pat. It will soon come naturally the more you consistently practice placing proper healthy boundaries down vs. letting some slide that can increase and challenge your efforts for any further boundaries needed to be set with that same person. You teach others how to treat you essentially. It’s silly to complain about something you opened the door to. You may struggle with thinking you actually “allowed it.” Trust me; I struggled strongly with this for a long time. I thought to myself, “How could anyone think I’m allowing such things; I have no choice.” Frankly, we all have the freedom of choice. No one that we don’t allow can take that from us. Nobody. In fact, creating boundaries can actually translate to love. Love for yourself, love for your loved ones you are in charge of protecting, and love for the person you are dealing with. Not creating boundaries is a disservice to the person harming your joy. They may not even think they are negatively affecting you, or worse, they may not care. It is up to you to take charge of your emotional and mental health. For the sake of your sanity, well-being, and peace-of-mind: set those boundaries, my friend!
Now, you may be wondering how you will accomplish the feat of setting a boundary. Simply start. This is how:
- Weigh the pros and cons, of course.
- Write down what would make you happiest and what that would look like as a result to the situation.
- Practice with a wise trusted good friend.
That’s it! You’ll have to apply it to a/the real-life matter. This is one of the hardest things you’ll have to do in your life, perhaps, but oh so very satisfying when you get the hang of it. You will love yourself for it! After all, isn’t that what it’s all about? This is self-care derived straight from self-love, self-respect, a strong sense of dignity, and the healthy impression you want to create about yourself to make a positive impact at those challenging moments and to the people, you expect to treat you with care and respect.
Hello, my name is Elizabeth Morales. I have been a Self-Care advisor for over 10 years and a Talent Acquisition professional for over 20 years. I derived people’s performance to match them with their most incredible life opportunities. Now I enjoy combining my talents and experience with practicing self-love and establishing healthy boundaries while incorporating self-respect and self-care into even the busiest of schedules and demanding lifestyles.